How to challenge others
There’ll be situations where someone in the room is talking in an irrelevant way. By irrelevant we mean unpractical ideas, or ideas that are off-target for the group’s agenda. Ideas that you think won’t work.
The trick is to challenge them without making a big fight out of it.
Obviously you can simply suggest an alternative, or politely provide a piece of missing information that will make them reconsider their view.
This usually works.
But if they’re in full flight with their idea, then you have to be clinical.
Is it okay if I challenge that idea?
Notice that you’re not challenging them. Only the idea.
Say it in a pleasant easy way. Don’t ever sound intense. Not even if you feel intense and are 100% convinced that this person is the stupidest person who ever walked the planet.
Say: What about the so and so factor
Mention additional information, or mention the fatal flaw on their logic.
Say it nicely.
Now wait for someone else in the room to take up the gauntlet for you.
If possible, avoid the fight yourself.
Make the challenge then let someone else step in and finish the job for you.
This has two benefits:
- The person with the wrong idea will realise they’re outnumbered and give up (or better still, see reason).
- You don’t look bad
Above all make your challenge look as if its developing their point. Perhaps it is. Perhaps there’s something in what they’re suggesting, but it needs taking further, or severely modifying in order to be workable.
Exercise 36:
Challenge the idea not the person
If possible, couch your disagreement so that it follows their point, rather than flat out contradicts it.
Always be nice. Never gloat or appear surly or huffy.
Let your allies win the argument for you where possible.
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